DISCLAIMER: Does Contain a few swear words<----Still Classy though lol ;)
If my life was a book, I think the title would be “You Can’t Make This Shit Up”.
Valentine's Day is almost here and let me tell you, pretty much every year I dread it. Seriously the last time I let my self get excited for Valentine's Day was in the 7th Grade. I had a boyfriend (I know exciting right). I used my own money to buy him a very special gift, something with UNC (because that was his favorite team). I just knew he was going to get me something equally as cool. Well Valentines Day comes around and I get a $1 box of chocolates. Now, 33 year old me says, "It's the thought that counts--Blah Blah". BUT 7th grade me was super disappointed (and wanted my gift back-haha). I learned that year, just don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed the next time.....(Look at me learning life lessons at an early age....right??) So on that note...comment below for the address to send flowers and chocolates--only kidding ;)
It is amazing how B-R-U-T-A-L the dating world of 2019 is. Like honestly, I think I’d rather participate in the Hunger Games, than deal with some of the stuff I have encountered on the path to finding a life mate (Of which I question my decision on a daily basis). Sometimes I look around for the hidden camera, because certainly this can’t be real life!? “Ain’t nobody got time for that”.
I have seriously, briefly, considered all other options, like: Becoming a nun, becoming a lesbian, or being a Crazy Cat Lady for the rest of my life. (Disclaimer- not saying any of those options are bad).
But you know, I’m actually starting to think of it more as a merit badges I should be earning, like Girl Scouts for Grown Women.
Fellas, I have a quick question for you. If you are NOT looking for a relationship, for the LOVE OF GOD, Why are you on a DATING SITE?????? If you’re just trying to hook up, maybe now would be the perfect time to make a comeback for Want Ads, also Craigslist is a good place to find some slutty girls not interested in knowing your name.
Men, I have taken the liberty (You’re Welcome) to provide a few tips below (these are only my personal opinions, however I would be willing to bet some money that I would find a few, if not several (million) women that would agree):
*One of the most appalling things I have noticed on a profile is something to the effect of (This is a quote from an actual profile-name withheld- Haha) “Not interested in fat women, sorry if that sounds harsh, but I’m not interested”. I mean I get it, you’re not attracted to plus size women, you know what you like, and I will admit that a part of me even wants to like your candor, but seriously that is so TACKY. I don’t go around posting all the things I’m not interested in. What would you think if you came across my profile and read something like this: “Not attracted to men with Giant foreheads, a tiny penis, or men that are momma’s boys who still live at home with mommy and daddy (Do they still read you bedtime stories too?). <----------------I know tacky right??? My point exactly!
*Unless she is obviously your Mom or grandma, please don’t post pictures with women as a profile picture, we don’t want to have to wonder if that’s an ex (or hell even a current girlfriend-crazier things have happened). Also IF she is your ex, I can guarantee that girl does NOT want to be on your new dating profile lmao…..Let her go!
*Use an actual name, I’m not suggesting you put your full name on blast on the internet, but K-Slice or Pimp3638 is not cute or attractive in any way.
*One of my biggest pet peeves, in the dating world, is when someone asks you the question “Why are you Single?”……1st of all to this I say: “Bitch, Why are you Single?” – 2nd: If I knew the answer to that I probably wouldn’t be single lmao. (Note to self this just may be a topic for its own blog post eventually)
*Not really sure who told you that it is cute to post a picture of all them $20 bills you have (all ten of them) or even worse a picture of a bunch of $1’s that you didn’t spend last weekend at the strip club when you and your boys went out. Also If I were you I would refrain from one of the famous “smoking pot pictures”-seriously grow up. I could care less what your habit of choice may be, but why would you blast it all over the internet when trying to get a woman? FYI it’s not cute at all!
*By the way, I’m not sure if you are aware of this or not but people in this world are NUTS, they may not even be who they tell you they are, therefore if you have children, it’s probably not the best idea to plaster their pictures all over a dating app. I’m not saying to leave out the fact that you have kids as yes I believe in honesty, but my lord man there are lots of weirdoes out there looking at what you’ve posted! This goes for bringing your kids around someone you met on the internet right away….Not Smart-Just saying. I mean I’m not one to tell you how to parent your children, but Random internet women meeting your kids right away is just weird for everyone involved! I won’t charge you anything for my two cents on that matter
P.S. – NOOOOOOOOOOO I do not want to see a picture of your (probably tiny) Penis, and if this in fact has gotten you a woman in the past I would suggest you question her well-being-Ugh! And maybe go to your local clinic to be tested for STD’S!
Now don't get me wrong. I have met a few great guys, I realize not all are bad. I truly appreciate the respectful and sweet guys I have met, they give us women hope that there are some out there every now and then. And Kudos to your momma's for raising you right!
This Topic is one that I could go on and on about, you would die if you knew some of the stuff I have encountered, but I will save some of the rest of them for another post, so be on the lookout for that. Until then Happy Reading and Happy Dating and Happy Valentine's Day <3
With Love, Brittany
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