I am afraid that I have become someone that we have all been annoyed by at some point in our lives. But you know what??? I'm honestly not even sorry...…as they say (lol) SORRY NOT SORRY! I may have become the dreaded girl that talks about her boyfriend ALLLLL the time (usually without even noticing that I am doing it) and let me tell you why I offer exactly 0 apologies for it!? I am 38 years old, and I have never been in anything but TOXIC relationships. I don't know maybe, once you are in a few bad relationships, you start to think that toxicity is normal, but I'm here to tell you that it's not. It may be what is common in 2023, but it is not how it actually should be. I could tell you some stories that would make your skin crawl!
- I had a boyfriend tell me that I was so big that I weighed down my side of the bed.
- One that refused to take me to Immediate Care when I broke out in hives all over my body and was having trouble breathing because, "That was not what he had planned for his day". I ended up having to take myself to the doctor that day 😏😲.
- I developed a stomach ulcer, because I was so stressed out when one of the guys, I dated was so bad to me all the time.
- I had the ex-wife of one of my boyfriends literally try to kill me. She sat in her van on the side of the road for hours until I drove by (going to my boyfriend's house) and pulled out behind me on the road, then proceeded to try to run me off the road on the railroad tracks. I ended up having to get a restraining order on her and changing job locations because of her.
People always tell you stuff like "You always find someone when you're not looking", funny because most of those same people were the ones who were busy trying to set me up with someone constantly. I have been on dating sites, been set up by friends, coworkers' family, etc., been on blind dates, met people in church, you name it I've done it. Most of them ended up being terrible, many before they even started. The lame cliches like taking me out to dinner and conveniently "forgetting his wallet. Most guys anywhere close to my age were only interested in hooking up for the most part. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "I just want to be friends or I'm not looking for anything serious" blah blah blah. To say that I had given up hope is the understatement of the year! Just for your entertainment, I will include one of my favorites from one of the dating sites I was on 😳😲 Meet Dustin:
To say that I had "given up hope" is the understatement of the year 😂 I would get frustrated with the dating world and deactivate my accounts on dating apps constantly. A few months ago, I reactivated my Facebook dating app account, but as usual, I wasn't too optimistic. I discovered that Facebook dating had added a "friends" section, where you could meet people who had things in common with you and whom you would be compatible with as friends. Honestly, the option of finding "friends" that way bothered me because most of the guys I had encountered year after year just wanted to be friends, they didn't need any help finding someone to hook up with as "friends".
June of this year, I got a notification that someone had "swiped right" on being my friend, via Facebook dating's "Just friends" option. I won't lie, I rolled my eyes and had no intentions of even responding. I think I may have even ignored the notification for a day or two. Right before Father's Day weekend, I checked and noticed the notification was still there and I'm still not sure why, but something told me to send him a message. It wasn't long and he replied. We talked back and forth over the weekend, and I will be honest much to my surprise he seemed to be fairly normal. He asked me if it was okay for him to call me, and I was hesitant because everything before had always gone so bad, but we talked on the phone, and I was surprised (but didn't admit to him) that I was maybe interested in meeting him (soon). We continued to text for another few days. I was going on my lunch break one day and he jokingly mentioned that I should come see him. I think he honestly didn't expect that I would, but I said, "Sure" 😍 He suggested we meet at a coffee shop close to his work. 🙋 I met him that day for coffee, and later that evening we went to dinner and a movie. I could tell that he was nervous, but I also could tell that I really liked him! We have been pretty much together every day since then. I never imagined that it would have ended up this way, but I am so glad that it did.
This is the part where I turn into the most awkward person you have ever met. No one tells you that when you are treated badly by most people your whole life when you finally meet someone that treats you with respect, you have no clue how to react. I had never had someone that treated me the way he does. I called my mom several times to tell her that he had done something sweet and that I was positive that I had a weird reaction, and that I was afraid he would think that I didn't appreciate the things he was doing. Lucky for me, 6 months later, he is still putting up with all my awkwardness and has shown me how I have supposed to have been treated all this time! In these past 6 months we have already been on so many adventures. I know this is something that cheesy people say, but honestly, I don't care where I am as long as he is with me, I am a happy girl.
Last year on Christmas day, I posted something on TikTok that said:
Dear Santa,
Don't get me wrong I love Christmas, but it just hits a little different when you live on your own and are by yourself most of the holiday season. I am ready to spend Christmas with someone, make new traditions, do all the fun & cute things that bring back the real magic of Christmas!
I am more than happy to say that I have gotten that (and more) this year and I am so excited to do all things Christmas this year!
I don't know if he will read this, but if he does,
Daniel, I want you to know that I am thankful for you every minute of every day! I have known since the day I met you that I wanted to keep you around for a while ;) I love you and I can't wait to make (many more) memories with you and the kids for years to come!
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