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What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You stronger

"What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You stronger"

Have you ever said that to anyone or has someone else ever said that to you?

    I'm not saying that I don't think that statement can be true sometimes, but boy oh boy, do people love to tell you something like that, especially when you least want to hear it. But then again, we all know that some things are easier said than done at times.  

    Many years ago, I was guilty of this myself, so I am only writing this to inform, not to bash anyone!  I have been diagnosed with severe depression.  I have dealt with this for more than ten years now.  There was a time when I first started struggling that I literally either slept or sat on my bed crying every day, for almost 3 months.  It wasn't until my (ex-boyfriend's) mom called to check on me. She then told me that I couldn't keep living like that, so she called my family doctor and made me an appointment for that afternoon. Before I started feeling that way, when I would hear someone say anything about depression, I wouldn't think, "Oh they are just feeling sorry for themselves." so I get it if you find yourself not understanding how someone can be depressed.  I have been told so many times that I "have nothing to be depressed about" or that I just need to "suck it up and quit crying" or even that I "just need to get it together."  BUT I PROMISE YOU if I could do that I would.  Until you have dealt with it, you have no idea what depression is like. It isn't something I do for fun! 

    Let me tell you a little bit about what depression can look like:



   
 There are many things that can cause depression, no one is alike when it comes to mental illnesses:


 I am not the first, nor will I be the last person that has been dealt some shitty cards in life. I had a whole conversation with my therapist a few years ago because there are times that I felt guilty for being depressed about things in my life when there are so many others out there with much bigger bad things happening in their lives. BUT she told me... "That doesn't make what is happening to YOU at the time any less crappy". The majority of people who know me, know me to be happy, bubbly, silly, cracking jokes, etc. all the time, but the truth is that there have been days and days when I was so depressed that I couldn't even make myself get out of bed to take a shower. I have always been a pretty independent person. Except for my parents all these years I have pretty much done things on my own for the past 20 years. I have gotten good at keeping myself busy by going places all the time, but I cannot begin to tell you what it is like to be severely depressed and have to come home at the end of the day to absolutely NO ONE. That was horrible for my illness. If I was home for a few days in a row (Spring Break for example) all alone, I had way too much time on my hands to think about everything. TRUST me, if there was a way for me to get it to go away on my own, I would, but this is something that I cannot help. All my life I have been disappointed by people that I considered important to me. When that happens over and over again, you start to think, maybe that's what you deserve or maybe that's just the way everyone is. Just be mindful that you have no idea what someone is going through or may be dealing with and try to give them some grace!

If you think you are dealing with depression, I urge you to seek help. I know that there is a stigma attached to it, but as long as I take the medicine I have been prescribed regularly, I can function fairly normally daily.

I am more than happy to tell anyone the things I have done that have helped me cope along the way!

For your information below are some resources:

Resources and Assistance | NCDHHS


Crisis Support

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress as well as prevention and crisis resources for you and your loved ones.
  • Alliance Health 1-800-510-9132 107 Sunnybrook Rd Raleigh, NC 24/7 for walk-ins. ...
  • Wake County Behavioral Health Urgent Care (Monarch) 919-703-2845 319 Chapanoak Rd., Suite 120 Raleigh, NC 27603 ...






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